Ray Stevens has lots of unusual things to say about a variety of topics, but one of my favorite, and perhaps most accurate song of his, is "Mississippi Squirrel Revival".

 

You can see all the lyrics here, but the bridge is my favorite part:

 

All the way down to the AMEN pew, where sat
"Sister Bertha Better-than-You", who had been
Watching all of the commotion with sadistic glee.
But shoot, you should have seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her
Thighs. And she jumped to her feet and said,
"Lord have mercy on me!"

As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.

She told of gossip and church dissention,
But the thing that got the most attention
Is when she talked about her love life
Then she started naming names!

 

  

Last night I dreamed about Abigail.

 

Abby was our first dachshund, our first dog as a couple.  Dad and Linda had bred wiener dogs for years, and we knew that was the breed of dog we wanted. 

 

I read once that a dachshund possessed a “comic dignity”.  There is nothing like a wiener dog, no other dog remotely like them in temperament.  Sure, individual dogs will vary, but the same basic quality is there that is distinctly “dachshund”.

 

However, Abby, through no fault of her own, did not act this way.  I had found her at the Anderson County Humane Society.  I was warned that she had bitten two previous owners, but I insisted, and they showed her to me, anyway.

 

It was love at first sight.  She was thin, her coat was dull, her eyes both scared and defiant.  I paid the cost and loaded her in the truck for the ride home.

 

On the way home, I had tried to reach out and touch her, and she literally levitated to get away from me.  I mean this in the literal sense.  She actually raised her body straight up into the air, a trick she had her entire life.

 

For weeks she feared us, bit us both several times, but we didn’t give up. She was a blue dapple, a rather rare color, and we began putting it all together.  She had been used as a breeder, trying to produce more dapples, which are much in demand.  She went nuts in a crate, which drew attention to the scar across her nose where she had been crated before, and fought it. 

 

Over the years she lost most of her teeth, and we know it’s because of abuse, malnutrition and biting and fighting that cage, trying to get out.  All she had known her entire life was confinement and mistreatment.  She had an old injury she had in the lateral process in one vertebrae in her neck that had been broken off and moved out of position.  We started using a harness rather than a collar, and that kept her neck from being irritated, and she seemed to have no trouble after that.

 

It literally took years before she began to trust us.  She loved and trusted me first, eventually learning to love Matt.  In the meantime, we had moved out to HiltonHouse and acquired Gus, who helped her learn how to be a pet, a wiener dog.  She didn’t know how to play, but she learned, at least in a small amount, from Gus.

 

I could tell you more about the years we had her.  Joys, triumphs, failures, pain. And she lived through them all, with an odd combination of defiance and new-found love.  Eventually, as with all living things, she left us.  But al least we know her final years she learned and enjoyed joy, love, and happiness.

 

 

There is a story of a young man who was a new Christian.  He was eager to learn more about Christ and all the other things that had stirred his heart.

Not having been raised in a Christian home and having little exposure to the Bible in his life, he had only a small understanding the Bible or even how to read it.

He decided to just flip through the pages,  reading whatever verse his finger landed on.  On the first try, he came to the verse, “And Judas went and hanged himself.”

A little puzzled, he flipped through the pages again, “Go ye therefore and do likewise.”

 

It’s not just what you’re studying.  It’s how you study it.

 

 

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to lead most of the service at Church today (we had a guest preacher to handle the sermon).  It ended up that I was also going to sing the special, and I chose "Let There be Peace on Earth".

Let's just say it wasn't very peaceful after I butchered it.  UG!
What was in my head and what was actually on the page were two different things.  Guess I should actually practice a couple of songs before I volunteer for that again....

 

 

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you know that our dogs have a particular bark we call the “snake bark”, that lets you know the dog has found a snake.  (There is also the “small varmint bark” usually a squirrel.  A “bigger varmint” bark, such as a big coon or dog.  And a “somebody’s coming up the driveway” bark.  A convenient alarm system.)

 

Yesterday afternoon, the dogs were getting restless, so I decided to take them on a short walk down the east trail and back.  When we got back to the house, I went over to the garden to check on it and pull some weeds.  The dogs just kind of  pup-dogged around until I started heading to the house.

 

Per routine, which the dogs know well, I checked their feet on the front porch just in front of the door.  Can’t have dirty puppy feet in the house. 

 

Finding all feet clean, I glanced up at the railing, right into the eyes of a snake, stretching his head out towards me to investigate this odd creature leaning near him (namely me).

 

I let out a yelp, jumped backwards about four feet, then started laughing as I realized it was just a chicken snake.  He had woven himself around the grating on the porch and had stretched quite far out, probably looking for a higher vantage point before encountering me.

Immediately after my yelp, I heard Matt’s recliner foot slam down, so I knew he was hurrying to the door.  I was still laughing when he came out.  The snake at this point had decided that there was entirely too much activity nearby, and was heading back to the ground.

 

I said, “Look, it’s a snake!” 

 

Matt replied,” I know.  I heard your ‘snake bark’.  I then heard you laugh, so I knew it wasn’t dangerous.”

 

Good stuff.  ;-)

 

We watched the snake find his way to a convenient hole in the siding he obviously already knew about.  That’s fine with us, as he can help keep the mouse population under the house in check.  A chicken snake is better than a cat for that.

  

-- I don’t have a picture of the snake, but I found one that is pretty similar.  The one I saw was a dark variant of the chicken snake, or rat snake as it is also called, though they can come in several different shades and colors.  They are incredible climbers, too, which explains how he got up on the railing.

    

Many of you know that our pit mix, Pip, went blind from glaucoma over a year ago.  She was an outside dog with Mercy, but we brought her inside when she lost her sight.

Of course, it was difficult at first, heart-breaking even, to see her literally bang around the house, lost and fearful.  However, it did not take her long to start mapping out the house.  She uses reference points to help, such as carpet, rugs, the air vent near the door. 

We try to keep things in the same place, such as her bed on the living room floor. Her toy basket is nearby, and if she can't find her bone on her bed, she digs around in the basket until she finds the one she wants.  From the look on her face, you can see she says, "I love my momma, my bone, and my bed."

She has most areas outside the house mapped out as well.  She can fearlessly follow me on the trails out in the woods, puttering around sniffing interesting smells at her whim.

So, in her mind, she has forgotten the fact she could see in the past.  As Cesar Milan says, dogs live in the moment. 

What can be disconcerting is when she looks you in the eye. She can't see, but she will look you right in the eye when you speak to her, or "watch" you as you do things.  The other day I was staring at her eyes evaluating their health.  She was looking at me, then turned her face away as any dog will do if you maintain eye contact for too long.  How does she do that?

Some of you will argue that she can see, but I assure you she is blind as a hammer.

Everyone should be as content as this dog.

For about the past 5 years, we have had a resident pair of red-shouldered hawks living near our home.  They provide a gorgeous sight, flying low over the tree tops, their characteristic striped tail spread wide to catch the breeze.

They are most noticable during the breeding season, when they dive and swoop, singing out their unique cry -- short, raspy, dropping in pitch from the first high note.

Today, however, I heard a red-tailed hawk, a large stocky raptor with its unmistakable cry.  The red-tail is new to our little neck of the woods.  It was awesome to hear the woods go silent when he screamed high above.

It can be confusing, to the uninitiated, to hear this cry.  The problem is that, without fail, any time a bald eagle is shown flying majestically above in a movie or tv show, the cry you hear is that of the red-tailed hawk!  Bald eagles have a pitiful, high-pitched chirpy cry that is in no way "majestic".  This aggravates me to no end.

"Our" red-shouldered pair have not yet shown up, but I am eager for their return. ... hope all the raptors get along...

(on the links you will be taken to a page where you can hear each raptor's vocalization.)

 

                                                                                           
"The General is sorry to be informed that the foolish, and wicked practice, of profane cursing and swearing (a Vice heretofore little known in an American Army) is growing into fashion; he hopes the officers will, by example, as well as influence, endeavour to check it, and that both they, and the men will reflect, that we can have little hopes of the blessing of Heaven on our Arms, if we insult it by our impiety, and folly; added to this, it is a vice so mean and low, without any temptation, that every man of sense, and character, detests and despises it."


   --- George Washington
               General Orders on Profanity
               3 August 1776

Kathi, also from Dogs Against Drugs, had prepared this list for places/businesses that allow Churches to put up fliers:



 "WEST 31"

YES     BOWLING ALLEY

NO     GIBSON'S PHARMACY

YES     SANTELLI CHIROPRACTIC

 

YES     EXXON STATION

 "WEST 175"

YES     DAIRY QUEEN

YES     DOLLAR GENERAL

YES     KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN

NO   AUTO ZONE

YES     FAMILY DOLLAR

YES     O'REILY AUTO PARTS

YES     ARBY'S

YES     MAZZIO'S

  

"NORTH PRAIRIEVILLE"

YES  ACE HARDWARE

  "NORTH 19"

NO     STEVE'S AUTO

YES     SHELL

YES     COLE'S KITCHEN

YES     ATHENS AUTOMOTIVE

  "EAST 31"

YES     WALGREENS

___     CITIZENS NATIONAL BANK

___     CITIZENS STATE BANK

 

YES  THE FLYING GATTO

 

YES     APPLEBEE'S

NO   JALEPENO TREE

YES     MADY'S HALLMARK

YES  MCALISTER’S

YES     BULLFROG’S …

     "EAST 31" continued

NO     BEALL'S

NO   JC PENNEY'S

YES  LONE STAR

YES     CELLULAR ONE

YES     PAYLESS SHOE'S

YES     FACTORY CONNECTION

YES     RENT-A-CENTER

YES     HAROLD DURHAM

YES     MCDONALD'S

YES  MAN POWER

YES     THEATRE

 

YES     TRACTOR SUPPLY CO

NO   JACK IN THE BOX

YES     WHAT-A-BURGER

 

YES     JULIO'S

YES     BROOKSHIRE'S

NO     OFFICE DEPOT

 

YES     SPANISH TRACE INN

 

YES     CHANDLER'S CLEANERS

YES  MR. MAC'S

YES  THE MAINE EVENT

YES  ABCO APPLIANCE PARTS &

          SERVICE

YES     TEXAS REHABIL. COMMISSION

YES     SHOE'S ETC.

YES  WILL STAFF

YES     BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO

YES     COSTUMERS CHOICE

YES  KC'S GIFT & PARTY STORE

"EAST 175"

YES     WASHDAY LAUNDRY

YES     BRAUM'S

YES     SHERMAN WILLIAMS

 

YES  CVS

NO     CHEVRON FOOD MART

 

NO     PHASE II BARBER SHOP

YES  COX COMMUNICATIONS

YES  JAMS

 

"SOUTH 19"

YES     CONOCO

YES  YES LESS

YES     KEN'S PIZZA

 

___     CRIPPLE CREEK BBQ

YES  NEW HUNAN

 

YES     ANDERSON'S PHARMACY

YES  RENT WAY

YES     HOLIDAY CLEANERS

YES     FABRICARE

 

YES     CHERRY LAUREL BAKERY

NO     CHEVRON FOOD MART

YES     SPENCER HARDWARE

YES     ROUNDER'S PIZZA

YES     SHERI ROBSON, OPTOMITRIST

YES  CAR QUEST

YES     SUBWAY

 

YES  ICY HOT’S (SNOW CONE)

  

"MADOLE STREET BY SOUTH 19"

YES     HANKS BARBERSHOP

YES     ATHENS CLEANERS

YES     DAIRY QUEEN

YES     MAILBOX PLACE

NO     EXXON KIDD JONES

  

"SOUTH PRAIVIEVILLE"

YES     CREATIVE CHILDREN'S CENTER

YES     CHERRY LAUREL

YES     EXPRESSIONS FLOWER SHOP

YES  TALK OF THE TOWN

YES     WORKCO

  

"THE SQUARE AND IT'S VICINITY"

 

"NORTH 19"

YES     FRENCH CART

YES     WILLIAMS MUSIC

YES     FAMILY FINANCE PLACE

 

"EASTSIDE"

YES     ATTORNEY'S TITLE

NO   TACO BELL

YES     FACTORY DIRECT

YES     WORLD FINANCE

NO     HARRIS FURNITURE

YES     ATHENS WELCOME CENTER

NO     ALLTEL

___  PENDELUM

 

"SOUTHSIDE"

YES     FIRST STATE BANK

YES  MR. B'S

YES     BARBER SHOP

YES     PHILLIPS HEARING CENTER

YES  110 ATTORNEY'S

YES     GILBERT & JONES

 

"NORTHSIDE"

YES     KID'S CORNER

YES     ANTIQUE SHOP

YES     CALIFORNIA GIRL

YES  DOLL BOUTIQUE

 

"SQUARE - WESTISDE"

YES     FIRST NATIONAL BANK

NOTHING ELSE THERE

 

“JUST EAST OF SQUARE ON 31”

___  FLYING GATTO

   

From the United Methodist Portal
commentary by Dan Dick


---------

"A large number of United Methodist congregations are struggling with money, members, commitment and leadership. Many of these churches aren’t doing anything wrong—in fact, they aren’t doing much at all. And that’s the trouble. ..."

Commentary continued here