Anyone who knows anything about me can tell you I love football.  I wait in eager anticipation for the start of NFL football every season.  I wish that it was a year-round sport. ...might be kinda hard on the players, though.

Having a good annoucing team calling play-by-play and color analysis is essential.  Emphasis on the "good".

Last August, I went on a mini-rant on announcer Tony Kornheiser, who was "color" (I use the term with disgust) for the past several seasons on ESPN's Monday Night Football.  Monday Night Football is the epitomy of pro football games, and The Gnome (TG) single-handedly made it difficult to enjoy the game.

Imagine my unmitigated joy when I heard that TG had quit this job because he was afraid to fly to games.  A joyful cry emanated from football fans everywhere. 

In a move I did not expect, ESPN recruited Jon Gruden, former coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Smart, quick-witted, and actually knowledgeable about football, I don't think a better choice could have been made.

So now, with The Gnome gone, MNF will once again be the joyful entertainment it has been for me in years past.

Bring on the games!

 

Yesterday morning, just after I had taken  DAD Dogs Toby and CJ out of their kennels, I heard Mercy and Gypsy barking out in the woods not far away.  Mercy’s bark had a rather shrill tone to it, what we call her “snake bark”.  She’s been bitten by copperheads a couple of times and now hates snakes with a passion.

 

Relatively unconcerned, I walked through the undergrowth on a direct  path towards her.  When I got closer, I could see that she and Gypsy were standing on the walking path we had made through the woods.  Going back to the path would be an easier walk, so I decided to go back and walk that way.

 

 I put CJ up as well as Bonnie and Pip as I didn’t need them to get bitten (Toby was still safely out on his chain).  Then I went to get the machete.  Mercy and Gypsy were still barking at the same spot, so I knew the snake hadn’t moved.

 

 I got within about 40 yards of them when I started to hear an eerie rattling.  I continued up the path.  When I got closer I saw a huge snake with a cross section of at least 5 inches.  So, I’m thinking someone’s pet python had gotten loose.  But I can’t dismiss the rattling.  I look closer and see a rattle buzzing and a large, triangular head.  Rattlesnake.  The large portion I saw was due to the snake having consumed something big.

 

Needless to say, my heart started pounding (I also said a very bad word, sorry Mom).  My machete now looked very, very small.  I quickly returned to the house and retrieved my .38 and a pocket full of bullets.

 

Returning, I could tell that Mercy hadn’t moved.  The snake had eaten such a big meal that it could not move.  The tail buzzed.  I shot at the head.  I saw the ferns near the snake move with the concussion of the bullet, but the head was still intact, to my dismay.  My hand was shaking too much to properly aim.

 

I shot at the swollen area of the belly.  The snake seemed to react, but I saw no wound.  So, I emptied the remaining bullets and then reloaded as the snake still seemed unaffected. 

 

Then I saw blood on the ground when the snake moved back and forth.  I HAD been hitting it, but the holes made by a .38 are small.  I guess in my mind I was wanting huge holes closer to the size of Dad’s .45.

 

After it was dead enough for me, I took a garden rake and carried it to the house.  I put it in the back of my truck and texted my dear husband.

 

Me: OMG! I JUST KILLED A ******* RATTLESNAKE!!

M:  Why’d you kill him?

    …..

Me:   It’s a ******* RATTLESNAKE!  He’s capable of killing Bonnie!  I’m still shakin

M:  K. Take pics &/or save his body. I wanna see him.

 

I did so.  Later we dissected the body and found a partially digested fox squirrel.

 

Thus ended my adventure.

 ….whew….