Ray Stevens has lots of unusual things to say about a variety of topics, but one of my favorite, and perhaps most accurate song of his, is "Mississippi Squirrel Revival".

You can see all the lyrics here, but the bridge is my favorite part:

All the way down to the AMEN pew, where sat
"Sister Bertha Better-than-You", who had been
Watching all of the commotion with sadistic glee.
But shoot, you should have seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her
Thighs. And she jumped to her feet and said,
"Lord have mercy on me!"

As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.

She told of gossip and church dissention,
But the thing that got the most attention
Is when she talked about her love life
Then she started naming names!